Am I a bad dad I ask myself. The Ex has our child. I have been to court to stop her leaving the country. I see him when I can. However the life he could have with me is far better than with her. Quality of life , Love he will get , money, better school, far better area to live, fiends and family to support him. A caring dad not a mom that wants him for the money but not willing to put the time in to give him a good life. But still he is with her. Why ? Well because she lives so far away its hard for me to see him.
Why should I live a life with no house no money no savings for my kids in later life all because of expensive court and solicitor costs ? I have worked hard all my life provided all for my wife but it seems was not enough. Now im trying hard to keep the kids in the country. Because of this I risk loosing my hours and my livelihood to get the best representation and advice that I can. Or I can do it all myself and risk not winning.
For the last god knows how many years I have been alone with this problem. Ex telling me I cant see my child, dictating to me when I can see him what he should eat when he goes where he takes his holiday. The list goes on. Abusive phone calls and text messages. My life has been on hold for my child Im just doing the best I can when I can. While she sits there doing as she pleases. Where do I get help from ? I need help I need advice. But where to get it with out loosing my house paying for it ?
So what do you do when she says she is moving country again. This time its a little more extreme. ? Its bad enough one time its Leeds then its Scotland but I cant fly to another country every week can I ? Law seems truly on the woman's side. I have done nothing wrong just want to see my kids. Its a simple as that however the law seems to let the mother do as she likes travel where she likes and just cut the dad out. I just dont get on with her and she dont get on with me. Now all that happens is the kids suffer and so does the dad.
Well its here again good old Xmas and again what and where I go is being dictated by is mother. No gifts will come from her this year however I will give all I can to my son. He deserves all the love in the world as is lacking from his mother.
Such a simple thing I asked last night. Can you just measure his legs for me so I can get him a bike. Not a chance.
I hate this time of year torn between family not able to give my son all he needs. Its a struggle. BUT I WILL MANAGE some how.
I had a strange proposition the other week from my Ex.
"Can we have another child if I dont goto the CSA ?"
I said dont you remember we dont live together we dont get on you have fucked me over for everything I have I live 600Km away how I can be a dad ?
Her response "I dont want to goto work for 5 more years and I want a child to look after me when im old. Our son will ot look after me"
My response "Keep taking the happy pills. I will not be coming any where near you. There is a reason our 5 year old hates you and you know full well what it is"
"Pretend you love her thats what I do she is not so nasty then" was a statement my 5 year old made to me last night while I was putting him to bed.
I have now been put in that terrible position where by I am not able to see my son any more. It can happen for many reasons. Court order. Nasty Ex making it hard. Distance between you to name just a few. Well sadly Im now in this position. Distance is my problem. Its simply to far to make the round trip.800 miles if I was to pick him up for a few days round trips. So what do you do ? How do you hope to get through this your self ? More importantly what about your child ? What do you tell them ? Simply to young to understand. I dont want him to think I have simply abandoned him.
What can you do when your Ex is filling your child's head with constant lies. She has more contact with him than I do so has more opportunity to influence him. Luckily in my case its not working. I still have a great relationship with my son even though he is far away and contact is limited. But what can we do to combat this ? I have often hear her saying your dad is bad. He does this he does that. Its his fault we live in this place and have no money.
Welcome to @IHaveNoSay this will be the new home for my Twitter account. Why ? Well simply because 140 characters is just not enough to get the point across. So over time I hope to build this site. Maybe get some forums up and running. Who knows only time will tell. We all have one thing in common. We are being deprived of a loved one through no fault of our own. Things need to change.