Am I a bad dad ???

Am I a bad dad I ask myself. The Ex has our child. I have been to court to stop her leaving the country. I see him when I can. However the life he could have with me is far better than with her. Quality of life , Love he will get , money, better school, far better area to live, fiends and family to support him. A caring dad not a mom that wants him for the money but not willing to put the time in to give him a good life. But still he is with her. Why ? Well because she lives so far away its hard for me to see him. So when I do see him I stay at her place and become the slave for the weekend. Slave for her not my son. If you dont do this your not staying here I get. None stop. So what am I afraid of ? Well its simple. No support from the government. For me its like they dont care about his life as long as she is not hitting him. They dont care where his life would be better. If I win all well and good. If I lose well then I really have lost. For sure I will not be staying at her place. So where do I stay ? I cant really stay at a hotel every time I see him. So for now I stay a slave, constant blackmail but at least I see my son and give him a little love when I can.

So am I a bad dad ?